If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is Oprah even human
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
