Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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