Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he thought i was a dude.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I came so hard my ears popped.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
