He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
