Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
