Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
