Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
