So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
