We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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