Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
