i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This is my gift to your gina
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
