I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
