Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
