Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
