I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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