did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
