im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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