I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
