so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
