just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
