this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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