Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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