its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
