she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize