hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
