Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
