It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
