Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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