I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We are two peas in an std pod
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
