I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore