There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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