every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
