when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
