Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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