he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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