My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
