I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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