i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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