It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
