It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
