He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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