these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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