Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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