I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When did we convert life to cartoon?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
