I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
