just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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