You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
