i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
