like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
