do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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