It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize