I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
