Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
