u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
