you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
