Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize