i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
