Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That was before I lit my hair on fire
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
