he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
