its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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