ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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