I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
