WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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